Ribbon Off My Eyes: You're Not One of Those Feminists Are You?

Main Entry: fem·i·nism
Pronunciation: \ˈfe-mə-ˌni-zəm\
Function: noun
Date: 1895
1 : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
2 : organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests
Merriam-Webster, Feminism

Why do so many people think of "feminist" and "feminism" as negative words? An unflattering description. Men AND women think this, and I am reminded of it often. Have you had this experience? Someone referred to me as a feminist in a conversation the other day, and then immediately took it back, clearly indicating that he didn't mean to insult me, and added that he knows I'm not really "one of them." Oh dear. I mean how can people be so ignorant? Educated, worldly people, but yet so skewed on this topic. I'm not red-in-the-face fuming over this... it has irritated me from time to time... I'm just mostly, well, bemused. I don't mean that in an insulting or condescending way (well maybe just a little), but DUDE!

With that said, I guess I understand where the confusion comes from... extremists have slapped a negative connotation on the word/cause. It happens. It sucks. People who take something and run with it, tipping over the edge of reason, and twisting the original meaning and intent. I do not approve. Allowing others to manipulate our vocabulary and just go along with new definitions, distant versions of the origin... not until the dictionary concurs at least.

Though you do not have to be a woman to be a feminist, you're better off accusing most straight men of being a flaming homosexual than being a feminist... or they take it as pretty much one in the same, a shocking insult. Oy. The word is feminist because it is the belief of equal rights for females, not feminist = a female. Certainly any man that I would be with damn sure is one... now he may not have a bumper sticker indicating such label, but as far as the actual definition (see above), yep, we would have a problem if he were not.

Now, I was born and raised and still live in the good ole south. I honestly like some old-fashioned customs, manners typical of the region, that may be gender biased... BUT just because I allow a fella to hold a building door for me or open my car door doesn't mean I shouldn't be able to vote, earn as much money as a man, have less independence in any way, shape, or form... any education level, driving privileges, political voice or position, influence in whatever area I shall choose.

And I use the word "chick" to refer to myself or other women occasionally, but I promise that doesn't devalue or diminish any of the equalities that I or any chick has and is entitled to keep. I am not opposed to several traditional scenarios between men and women. I don't talk smack about women who choose to not work outside of the home. Nor do I look down on women who have children and then work full-time. I do, however, appreciate a woman who can think for herself. That's all I ask sisters. You know, to represent and all. That we have a brain and deserve to be equals, no matter in which capacity we choose to carry out and deliver our contributions to family, work, society.

Believing in feminism does not mean that one hates or devalues men in any way. That notion bugs the bejeezus outta me! It doesn't mean that we think we are superior to men... that men need to be knocked down in some way. It means that we should have the same rights and opportunities and be able to pursue those things free from discrimination and gender suppression. The option needs to be there. All women do not have to want those things, but they should support equality for women who do. Furthermore, men nor women should insult a woman if she does NOT want to be a CEO, senator, or other job or post traditionally thought of as part of the boys club. The entire point is that we should have CHOICES. The right to choose what suits us best, as individuals. No different from men.

"Contrary to popular opinion, feminism and romance are not incompatible and feminism may actually improve the quality of heterosexual relationships..."
If you want to read more, the entire article is:
Feminism and Romance Go Hand and Hand
I happened upon the article and thought it fitting to share.

Okay, one more thing. If you find yourself being asked the question: "You're not one of those feminists are you?", don't take the easy way out, just because it saves your breath and all. Nicely respond to the question with a question(s): "How can I be a woman and not believe in equal rights for women? I am a feminist. What rights do you think women should not have?" If you ask this in a non-pissy way, suppressing snarky attitude in tone and expression, it can be amusing to watch the person come up with an intelligent response... and you may just teach somebody something, or in the least make 'em think twice before piping up like that again. I suppose the above advice wouldn't work well for you in the event that you are not a feminist. But in that case, you probably shouldn't be reading my blog anyway... because you won't like it and stuff.