Monday, November 9, 2009

A Bubbly Surprise or Two



It always amazes me when people complain about the very personality trait in others that they themselves possess. Do you know people like this? How does someone spew negativity on a daily and sometimes by-the-minute basis, yet proclaim him or herself to be a positive person? Well, it seems to be more common than ever. When I began writing this, I was annoyed with seeing so many whiny, complaining, “Oh, woe is me” spouts on Facebook. Instead of ranting about that, I’m going to talk about the flipside. Is it possible for that same lack of self-recognition to work in the reverse manner? Well, I have learned the answer to the latter.

The way we see ourselves is not always how others perceive us. I think we all know this regarding certain characteristics. Although… what comes to mind is physical attributes. I know beautiful swans who truly see themselves as ugly ducklings… and I certainly know of many obnoxious material girls who think so highly of themselves, they tarnish whatever shine they may otherwise project.

But, how many of us are likely to describe our own personality traits the same way another person would depict us? I have known others who felt differently on the inside than what they felt comfortable putting out there… waiting to get to know someone before revealing their “full personality”. That was me when I was younger. I was often referred to as shy, and in high school I was called stuck-up a time or two. I was later told that it had been assumed that I thought I was too good to talk to certain people… when the truth is I was an introvert around people I didn’t really know.

Recently I had a realization that I needed another mirror-check. Well, not so much needed as it was nice to see. I am a confident, outspoken person who loves getting to know new people. While I accurately recognize these things about myself, and admit that all of this has changed since I was younger, I was still surprised when I recently heard adjectives to describe me.

A few months ago I met a friend of a friend. This woman is very nice, a sweet personality. I would also call her mild-mannered. We had been around one another for a couple of days when she said to me: “You have the bubbliest personality of anyone I’ve ever met!” I was taken aback. I mean it briefly stunned me a bit to be honest. My boyfriend was part of the group and heard her comment… and he did not protest or crack a joke. And, he really knows me!

If I were to break myself down into a list of adjectives, I would include the word “friendly”… but “bubbly” is on a vastly different level. There are two things here… first of all, the word bubbly has often implied that a gal may be a smidgen of an air-head. I don’t want to be thought of as an air-head! The second thing is that it was meant as a compliment, and I realized that I no longer hold back what I feel on the inside. She added that I am “full of life” and that sounds like a good thing to me! I asked my boyfriend if he thinks that I am “full of life”… he said, “Yes, that would actually be a good way to describe you.” Hmph.


Three days later, I was chatting with a lady who has known me for years, but has only known me fairly well in the past year. She said to me that I am always bubbly and have an effervescent personality. There was that word again! Then, a light bulb went off in my bubbly head… this is me! I am happy. This is what it is like to be so happy that people know it without you telling them… in fact, old friends have asked me what has changed because they have noticed “something different.”

I went through a lot of dark times during my childhood and younger years, bad marriage and all that, but I am ready to take ownership of the person I’ve become. I still have worries and challenges of course, but am refreshed to have evolved past allowing them to consume me and represent me. I focus on the positive without even thinking about it these days. When I hear someone spouting negativity, it jumps out at me like a bat hitting me over the head. What I mean is, I no longer feed into it and join in on the griping or agree with the person just to be agreeable. It jumps out as an avenue I do not want to go down… and usually tells me that I will not enjoy spending much time with that person. Life is too short to allow others to drag you down. Now I admit that I have a very sarcastic sense of humor. Sarcasm does not = negativity, necessarily. I guess one can be of a sarcastic and bubbly sort!

I will no longer think of me as a watered-down version of myself. Looking back, it was a journey to get here. I am happy, downright bubbly, and I own it!

3 comments:

  1. Loved this, my sweet friend! Your "bubbly" cup certainly runneth over and you are so blessed. What a blessing it is indeed to "own" who you are and where your life has taken you...and the wonderful journey ahead. xoxo - k

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  2. I love this post! Can I use it as a "click story" on my blog sometime in December? If so link it to an email and send it my way. clickstories@gmail.com

    I am so glad we are friends again. I missed you so much over the years and I love your bubbly, happy self!

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  3. I missed you too L!
    Thank you both for reading. =)

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